Older. Older. I am Older.

When it was a week before my last year, I was consciously happy because I knew that the soon to be past year had been a good  great one. I had finally started some things that I wanted to, although not all; I had been able to be more true to myself, I had in few instances done already what I thought I would only be capable of in maybe 5 years’ time and most importantly I knew that I was maturing and God was revealing who I am to me more and more while teaching me ever so lovingly.

The thought of my new age also made me sigh unconsciously because 5 years back, I imagined a different kind of scenario with a different kind of atmosphere and when I realized it was the hum of the central line train, I sighed again. Joy mixed with gratitude infused with more wishes and smeared with hopes built on hope and just the lingering thoughts of what are my New Year resolutions made me smile the more. FUTURE.

What did I learn the past year? A lot. Would I use what I learnt this new year? Maybe. What things would I change in this new year? A lot. When would this be? Soon. What are the things you are going to change? Hmn, my Heavenly Father might be able to tell you more on this. Why? Because I tell Him as it is and He tells me as it is.

The crossing over to my new year was an absolutely unpredictable drama. I put myself through a circumstance that I had never been in all my life years. It was such a journey, that took my physical strength and the only thing left was Spiritual strength and no I was not playing basketball nor fasting. Never underestimate the power of situations because in those moments, truth is revealed. And in this moment, so many words were spoken in silence, so many tears spilled through dry eyes and so much thoughts going through a numb mind. I was my worst enemy and then my best friend. I felt things I had not felt before but most importantly I felt FUTURE.+

That is what I have and some have lost. Future. That is what has been given to me freely and some are searching for. FUTURE. That is the gift that My Father has graciously bestowed upon me when the second hand of the clock passed midnight. FUTURE.  My Future. HIS Present.

I appreciate absolutely everyone for the kindness they bestowed my way during my birthday. The Facebook posts, the gifts, the phone messages, and did I mention my mum apparently told almost everyone at her place of work and they all called with their prayers and kind wishes.  I love my family! God Bless you All!

Word for the moment: Sometimes to know what you want, you might need to have what you don’t want.