...Drowning

Feet dipped in salt water,

Aimlessly making ripples that can’t be worse than those stored in the heart.

Eyes gazing far away into the distance,

Emotions all sodiumized from an instance.

Sitting by the ocean shore, working an absent mind to be present,

While the spirit is invalid and the body defines itself as a convalescent,

One look at the reflection on the ocean and it is the face of a stranger, slowly fading away.

One look from the dog stroller and it is the face with the brightest smile,

A moment gaze from the jogger and it is the sound of the saddest sigh.

One second hugs from the coincidental neighbor and it is a moment of selflessness.

Self-Lessness….How did they all miss that?

The one person who they momentarily saw,

Is truly selfless, less of her, has no self, more of less and none of self,

How did they all miss that overdose of selflessness?

Wanting to be free from pain so painful, she would die on it?

How did they not capture her one definition of selflessness?

Waiting to be one with the waters?

For if there is anyone who can define selflessness,

It is the ocean.

Her fingers caress the pebbles; her spirit caresses her vacuum,

She hums a wordless song, her mind as dry as the desert,

In the midst of plenty…noise, friends, food, music, laughter, social media, selfies….

Not one drop of happiness trickle from the external to the internal,

She questions herself…Am I taking life too serious? Or is all this just a waste of time?

Her pain-jerked heart beat slowly as she continues to hum the tasteless song,

No one can understand, No one cares to understand but they seek to be understood,

She takes off her shoes and her tear-stretched eyes see what could be, if only….if only…

Her body walks towards the ocean, Her spirit admires the sun set ,Her soul irritated at its brightness.

She feels like a swim, Her spirit desires freedom, Her soul longs for feelings.

She craves for a shoulder, Her spirit weak at its rims, Her soul has no strength to cry any more.

She yearns to be relevant, Her spirit has no inspiration, Her soul has lost the inspired.

All three finally agreed on one thing, The Ocean was warm and she could not swim.

For the first time, she busted out laughing,

Maybe someone will miss me,

Maybe something will miss me.

She kept on laughing as they dragged her out of the water…

They ask, are you alright? You were screaming?!

Her body was screaming

Her soul was laughing

Her spirit was looking

She answered ‘You can see me?’

 ‘Of Course we can!’ They said

She says ‘Take me home’.

‘Where is home?’ They ask

Home is where my heart beats for life and not death.

Home is where my tears taste like survival and not defeat.

Home is where my blood nourishes and not perish the life of me.

Home is where my spirit connects to her source and cleans me of all disgust.

Home is where my soul sees how far I have come and not how much I have left.

Home is where my body protects me from the claws of fact and covers me with the truth.

Home is where my heart rejoices in the wake of a new day and forget the wake of a lost dream.

Home is when I reach the bottom to spring forth and not dig a grave to bury myself.

Home is where I cry, bleed, cry some more and tell myself, even if I lost it, I would get it again.

Home is where my life is away from the definition of others but in my creator,

And if I cannot embrace myself, I choose to be homeless,

Please take me home, I want to go home ‘She says’.