Reach Out

While you are debating if you should say hello to a friend of yours you have not spoken to a while but really means a lot to you; while you are acting cold towards that friend who has always been there for you but stopped communicating and then is back with ‘Hi! How are you? ‘While you are telling yourself that you are older and she is younger, so I won’t reach out to her first, let her be the one to do that and days pass, months pass, years pass and you are still fighting with yourself…

There is someone out there who is wishing they had just one moment to give a hug, say a Hello, ping their friends and loved ones till their battery dies.

While you are stuck in your own definition of friendship and measurement of relevance, remember that reaching out, extending a random smile out of the blues would not affect your selfworth or caliber.

It has nothing to do with status but a lot of things to do with tearing those walls and getting out of your own head.

Let The Dead Bury The Dead

There is something about leaving the past where it belongs. Dredging it and trying to analyze the fabric of either a loss or a gain can impede the growth of a present.
If a door is shut, why are you trying to open it to check one last time if someone is knocking behind it?

Really, what are you trying to gain or jeopardize?

Be wary of past analyzers; friends who mean well but don’t do your mind well. Because after you have gone through the very details of what happened, what could happened, what should have happened, how things could have turned out, etc.  with them, they go back to their present while you are left brooding about a topic that you buried a long time ago; you are left with all these scenarios that swallow you up.

 

Ask yourself these questions when you find yourself in a situation:

-What good would this do for me now?

-Do I need this conversation to set me free? In other words, is this an open wound that only this dredging can heal?

-Do I trust myself to talk about this and I would not keep dreaming about what ifs?

-Am I mentally matured to address this topic without feeling some kind of way?

-Is this a trap for me to neglect what I have going on and to wish for what I ‘lost’ or what ‘lost’ me?

-Is this a trap of the enemy to sow the seeds of ingratitude and greed in my heart?

-I can shut down this conversation before it even arises. After all it takes two to have a conversation, right?

Personally, I am learning every day to be sensitive. Be sensitive of what is going on around you and in you. Do not live life casually but do life intentionally. Keep guarding your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

Remember:

Philippians 3 vs 14: But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.

Jungle Justice

Their therapist was the wood, stones and metal,

The therapy was the degree of each throw, 

The process of inhale and exhale was vile vaporizing into the environment.

He stole food.

To them, he was the cause of their problem.

She stole money,

To them, she is the reason they have no meal to execute vengeance on.

They intend to be his judge, jury, media and executioner,

And each throw was life leaving a body.

He is their brother, husband, cousin, neighbor, son,

She is their sister, wife, husband, friend, daughter,

Yet, for every throw, they feel justified,

For every crack, they feel vindicated,

For every whip, they feel the video is a mirror image of justice.

The world calls It jungle justice,

Ironically, its neither a jungle nor is it justice.

It is a brother killing a brother,

A sister stoning a sister,

A friend spitting on a friend,

A husband punching a wife.

Not in a jungle, but in a community,

Where everyone watches day light murder,

Petition to have the perpetrators arrested,

But forget that perpetrators begat perpetrators.

What are you running from?

I have read so many books, listened to amazing speakers and seen lots of images talking about purpose and passion.

However, recently I have noticed something really strange. 

I am always involved in different projects at the same time but on a certain time, when it came to one that is mine, I did not postpone it, I actually went towards getting the work done. 

Now, this is where it gets very interesting...

I began to make effort towards getting it done and then I migrated into doing someone else's work/project/task . I simply found out I was doing some other work that had no bearing with my initial intention. 

It's not about the ability to focus or prioritize or plan accordingly, it's the truth that the thought of taking those baby steps towards that idea or project is rather overwhelming! Not the baby steps but the thought of -how many baby steps will I have to take? -This is a big idea and I don't know how to start even if I do know the next baby step -Can I really do this?  Is this me or just not me? Do I really want to do this or do I just like the idea of this idea?

With such thoughts and more, trust me, you'd find yourself doing everything else apart from the next right thing you ought to do.

What can you do?

-Be honest with yourself.

-Look closely at the thing/task/idea you keep fleeing from. And ask yourself, why?

Purpose is sometimes what we are running away from. 

The Power of MUSIC By Somto .S. Okeke

My Responsibility

She is my responsibility!

This sentence kept replying in my head as I stared at my daughter.

She is not anyone else’s responsibility…

We had a near miss and I was still in shock.

It could have been worse..Our prayer of ‘Lord, let our angels keep charge over us lest we dash our foot against a stone’ was not in vain. It usually sounds like a broken record when we pray but the power behind it is as new as a new day.

She is my responsibility I kept muttering, as I kissed her soft cheeks and basked in the dribble of her joyful saliva.

She is my child.

She is his child.

We are her caretaker.

God is her Father.

God.

The one who makes the impossible possible.

The one who could use the basket to disgrace the bucket.

The one who can use the ant to explain to humans.

The one whose gifts are without repentance, meaning He does not give and then change his mind.

The one who gifts maketh rich and adds no sorrow.

The one whose hands cuddle a child even as she falls.

God.

If I can get so overwhelmed over my child, so carried away with how I need to be there for her and protect her from every danger of this world (I know I am not capable of doing so, Only Her Heavenly Father has the ability and capability); But if my love for my little one has no bounds, I wonder, what is the state of God’s heart over us, His children?

This Bible verse comes to mind ‘If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children How much more shall your Father which is in Heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7 vs 11

The love a mother has for her child is deep and endless; it’s a connection that distance cannot destroy or words quantify..There is just something about it and then, the Love of God for His children…

God is Love; we have heard this statement over again,but think about it one more time..it is saying that Love is because God is; it is saying that anything less than the Love of God is not Love…

Yes we love our children, but the Love God has for us, is not the purest form, because calling it purest is comparing it to another type of ‘love’.. the Love God has for us, is the only definition of Love.

Venom 101

Jealousy,

The black smoke that reveals how brown the teeth is even if the smile is the only thing the other person sees.

Envy,

The green monster that chokes happiness out of one, leaving us with a beating heart that spreads poison through our veins.

Jealousy,

Dragging ones life essence through the mud because of another's person life essence. If twins are different, why would we compare our imprint with another?

Envy,

The regurgitation of bitterness just at the sight of another,

Clearly recycling venom through ones mind.

Jealousy, Envy 

If you want to be unhappy,

Befriend these two 

If you want to fill your heart with malevolence,

Hug these two 

If you want to easily forget how far you have come,

Accommodate these two 

If you want the stunt root of bitterness to be the veins through which your blood flows,

Feed these two.

If you want your days to be dark,

Light up the candle of these two.

They don't need much to grow, just discontentment and ingratitude and they are good to go!

Life In Waltz Mode

When the music changes,
May we continue to dance.

When the terrain leads to multiple lanes,
May we hold hands together towards destiny.

When our tempo has its own temperament,
I hope our temper remembers to kiss goodnight.

When the wind blows,
May our ship sail with you as the captain.

And when I turn around,
May I always see you present minded,
May I always be present in your sight and thought,
May I not only expect from you but be your well of expectation.

Hey Little Girl

Hey Little Girl 

Chin up! There's nothing for you on the ground..as far as your eyes can see ,

Below, the ground ends but straight ahead it bends.

For the step you take creates the next, so keep moving.

Avoid comparing your footprints to another, 

You will never have the same compression as another

And another will never walk like you. 

Look up! Soak in the clouds, absorb the colours around you, ask your never ending questions, 

Be the butterfly and dissect the caterpillar,

Because a time would come when you would notice the thunder but not the lightening,

When you would run away from the thunder and forget what the clouds look like,

When you would see shapes and not colour,

When you would miss the butterfly and eat up the caterpillar,

When you would see life but not living.

When you would wish you could go back to staying a child.

I hope you stay a child. 

Because as a child, you jump into the fire to admire the flames,

You jump into the ocean to taste the salt,

Because as a child you see the unattainable,

You believe the impossible,

And others opinion of you have never robbed you of speaking your mind.

Stay a child,

It is a free gift given to us from God,

That we have traded with the world for a promise of Freedom,

And we forget freedom has always been us,

And when we made the trade,

We traded us for their version of us.

Hey Young Lady,

Smile!

Do not let them change you,

Do not let it become you.

When you were little, you dreamt of being a grown up. 

I wish someone corrected you by telling you being grown is not an end it was never an end!

It is just a concept that means you would be able to tell the difference between credit and debit.

I wish they told you growing up would be the fragrance of your existence but being grown will cause you to fold your arms too soon!

That grown is a friendly enemy,

But growth is the friend you cannot shake off.

With growth comes pain 

With growth comes risk 

With growth comes adventure 

With growth comes movement 

With growth comes fear 

With growth comes doubt 

With growth comes options

With growth comes belief 

With growth comes confidence 

With growth comes experiences

With growth comes self awareness 

With growth comes naysayers 

With growth comes friends turn family 

With growth comes feelings

In growth comes you.

From growth comes you.

Through growth comes you.

Keep growing,

Don't let one phase skew you,

Don't let it tip you over the edge,

Your biggest threat is you,

Your biggest asset is your mind.

If you trust you 

We trust you.

You are not one phase,

You are the delicious blend of it all,

Keep growing,

Not for us.

For you.

What Will People Say?

What will people say?
What will people not say?
After all is said, done and said again,

What will people not say?

Will life end?
Will your air be cut short?
Will your destiny be aborted?
Will your future collapse?
Will your day turn to nightmare?

Will you stumble and fall?

Will the nightmare turn to reality?

Will the pain become permanent?

Will you lose all your ‘friends and family’?

Will all you have built thus far fall to the ground?

If yes, people might have let it happen but you let it remain.

They might have started the fire but you allowed the flame to consume you.
They might have sown the seed, but you watered and fertilized it with your fear,
They might have said all the negative things any human can muster, but you chewed it up until it became part of your system,
They might have sneered at you but you took their sneer as the definition of your worth,
They might have spat at you and hissed as you walked by, but you enveloped yourself in their venom and they choked you as the snakes they are,
They might have stopped being your friends and family but you chose to be lonely,
They might have spread the rumors about you but you continued those rumors by hiding yourself in shame,
They might have shamed you in every human way possible but you accepted it when you let them push you away from your life,

They might have set their feet for you to stumble but you remained on the ground,

They might have stabbed you with their words, but you pushed it deeper when you took their words as gospel,

They might have broken down your confidence with their hammer, but you left the pieces on the ground and walked away,

They might have made you doubt the existence of your future but you gave them the title of god,

They might have taken you to the very edge of your limit, please do not fall over because of their invisible hands tilting you,

They are not worth it.

Vanity upon Vanity is Vanity.

Life is in phases

Humans are fickle

Give it time and their lunch topic would change to something else; not because you stopped being interesting but because they got bored.

They might have used you as their topic of their lunch but who cares?

When you fall, stand up and walk again.
People will always say,
People will always talk,
You cannot separate the two.
To think people will not always talk is like saying they won't breath!
People like to say and talk!
They move on from one news to another,
From one gist to another,
From one scandal to another,
If you are looking for reassurance, what they are saying about you is timed, very soon they would move on to the  next topic, only if you give them another one to talk about...

Let them say...it's their mouth, their words and action... It's a cycle and you won't be the first or the last they would talk about!

Live your life to please God!

Colossians 1:20 ‘So that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God’

You are offered poison; will you drink it because you don’t want people to say you did not accept their gift?

He proposed to you in public in front of your friends, you know he slapped you yesterday, you want to say no, but you say yes because you are afraid of what people will say and then you still end up saying ‘I do’? to what exactly?

You do not like where you are at the moment, but you are afraid to leave because of what people will say?

You have a friend who pulls you down and brings out the worst in you, but you cannot cut her off because you are sentimentally thinking of what will she say if you do?

You get invited to a ‘gathering’ your spirit is not agreeing to but you go regardless because you don’t want people to say you are boring?

You are holding back from saying your mind because you do not want people to say you are rebellious, in other words, having a mind of your own?

You are fulfilling another person’s ‘destiny idea’ of you and you do not want to break through because you don’t want them saying you are ungrateful?

You get all the things you know you do not need because you don’t want people….#sigh


What is the worst that can happen after people talk? There is a reason man is not God; Do not extol man to God status.

Proverbs 21:1-2

The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord; he guides it wherever he pleases.

People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart.

The only approval you need is the approval of God! Just keep striving towards being a better version of you.

2 Timothy 2:15

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

The only tree that stones are thrown at, are the ones with fruit - My Mum

What is my Purpose on this earth?

This Video is one of its many kinds that reveal to us in a sentence the journey of some of the experts in industries we have today. It shows us that at one point in time, they really did not have it altogether, that some of them were not even in the line of industry at which they are well known for! It also show that some of these people at one time started from the bottom (bottom is subjective here because their bottom might be someone else's top *No Pun Intended* )

This Video would spark up hope, inspiration, patience and determination in you. It would make you believe that it is not TOO LATE for you! That DREAM/ASPIRATION that seems so impossible, you just have to keep digging through the rock and you would  get to the water.

Five things gotten  from this Video are:

- It is Ok if you do not know what your dream is yet,

- But never tell yourself age is limiting you,

- Never tell yourself that you have missed it,

- Never tell yourself there are others better than you

- Whatever it is, You can do it.

This Video only reveals the phases through which they passed through but It does not show/tell us how they rose above their situation. Is this because rising is not a single event but accumulation of so many falls?

However, after watching it, I was inspired but I have Questions/Comments. Below are some of them.

-Tina Fey was working at YMCA

Q? How are we sure Tina Fey did not learn some invaluable lesson from YMCA?

-Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.

C? She got into reporting..That must have set the tone for where she is now. I think being fired sometimes is the best thing that can happen. It exposes your weaknesses and reveals your strengths.

-At 24, Stephen King was working as a Janitor and living in a trailer

C : Probably as he cleaned off, he had time to pen down his gruesome stories

-VVG failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school

Q? If he failed as a missionary, why didn't he continue till he succeeded?

-J.K.Rowling was a suicidal single parent,living on welfare

C? I do not know why I believe her kids might have something to do with her inspiration.

-Ang Lee was a stay-at-home dad working odd jobs?

Q? What if his kids were the stem of his inspiration?

-Vera Wang did not get her skating dream nor her editorial dream; she then designed her first dress at 40

Q? What made her stick to dress making? She could have gotten another editorial job at another magazine..How did she know dressmaking was it?

-Morgan Freeman landed his first MAJOR role at 52

Comment: His minor roles prepared him for the MAJOR one.

.....The list goes on and on

When did they decide ENOUGH is ENOUGH?

My lessons from watching the  Video include:

-Enjoy the journey as you pass through. Yes, it is sometimes challenging to see the sunny side of things when everything around you is not sunny and to be all sunny every time and fairy about everything could be a double edge sword. So find the balance.

-There is always something to learn from your present phase and it does not always have to be money! If you can't earn then learn.

-You do not have to know what your life purpose is, it is OK.Just keep searching and try out everything that appeals to you. Everything? Yes, everything. No knowledge is a waste. Time is money so choose your everything, wisely. I used to be so picky on my everything and now I wish I had just taken the plunge on some things.

- You are not a FAILURE if you do not know what your life purpose is;for the fact that you are thinking about it,keeps you ahead of the game.

-However, Do not spend the whole of YOUR TIME, waiting for your LIFE PURPOSE; It does not appear when you are waiting for it. I believe that it is more of a revelation appearance than a waiting appearance. 

-SERVE OTHERS! There is honor in service!

-ALWAYS,ask your Heavenly Father for guidance and Listen. He created man and He knows the reason why He put breath into you. 

Mammary Gland

Night and day

On knees and on feet, 

We prayed for you,

We held you in our arms 

We wept 

I am praying for you 

I'm holding you in my arms 

I'm crying 

In joy through pain

As your cute lips smack against your snack,

As your mouth with eyes closed, sniff for your inheritance, My mammary glands,

As your lips suck out the liquid gold from my breasts, 

I bleed

I weep

I bleed 

And already as your mom, I am shedding blood for you,

Thank you Jesus for counting me worthy of such sacrifice!

I'm sobbing through pain in joy 

Because you haven't been taught otherwise,

You weren't created otherwise

It came with you,

The need for more 

The desire to be heard 

The desire to get what is yours

The mindset that everything is possible  

Impossibility....what is that? 

Everything can be held and everyplace can be thread upon..

No one is 'bigger or better' than you 

If they hold you down, you hold them back with peering eyes...

Your inquisitive eyes seeing shapes and light, yet absorbing it all,

Your flaring nose inhaling just because you can,

The smile after you are breastfed to stupor...the smile of satisfaction after your day's work,

Your ears following every conversation ...no one has told you to stop listening, no one will except yourself,

Your mouth spewing such wisdom, the Angels are at your command, 

Your hands grabbing on to air...making our impossible, possible

Your fingers grabbing on to anyone or anything trying to hold (bath) you down 

Teaching the infamous person that they can't bring you down...no matter how huge the challenge might be, you have the strength to rise above them...

Your legs walking on air, standing before Royalty because every fiber of your being is Royalty...

You were not created otherwise 

Everything Goodly is in you 

Perfectly and Divinely,

You have brought Heaven down...

I started this piece to talk about my red coloured Liquid gold, thanks to your kissable lips, soft yet unyielding 

And through my thoughts you make me a philosopher...

Cheers to my life changing forever!

2016...To plan or not To Plan?

Ah!  A new year is upon us and we are out with the usual dos' and donts' of 2016. To be honest, I think I am more lackadaisical about this new year and this is not because I do not have plans to take over the world but because from last year, I have learnt that my plans are really small in the divine scheme of things!

Yesterday, I reminded my husband that we needed to work on our vision board and as I said that, I wondered to myself, from whence shall we begin to streamline so many moving parts?

Knowing fully well that my path is designed to only shine brighter and brighter, then 2016, you are most welcome.

So what are some of the things I would do this year?

-Dream Bigger: To be frank with you, nothing is impossible. Your dreams are valid!

-Think Deeper: My mind was created for such and it can handle it. Every complex structure has simple building blocks and if  I can be patient and committed to understanding the blocks, I would be designing my own structure.

-Read more books/Listen to the ‘right’ messages: How can I be well rounded if I am not well read?

-Put myself in discomfort zones: Enough of comfort, I am getting bored with it.

-Stop procrastinating: This is like ‘story for the gods’ but really, the ability to stop procrastinating the fact that we really have to stop procrastinating, is a skill. If I can do more things immediately, it would be refreshing like cool water on a sunny day.

-Ask: I always like to psyche myself ‘What is the worst he/she/they can say?’  The worst they can say is no and their answer cannot be as embarrassing as other things I have gone through anyways, so let’s keep it moving. 

-Indulge in my gifts: There is a reason why I am an over-analyser, but it cannot be to stifle my very own gift. Sometimes, I ask myself, is this worth writing? Will it be read? What am I trying to achieve with this post? Aren’t there other important things in the world to write about, like economics and Government issues? And then after I self-interview myself, my poor post in the making is buried gently under the seeming harsh reality that it is not that important in the scheme of Government affairs. So this year, I would try harder to be softer on myself.

- Be more personable: So I found out just few weeks before 2015 was rounding up that I am an introvert. I did not uncover this secret myself, it was told to me. You do not want to know how I acted towards this information, ‘How can I be an introvert?’…oh well, this is for another post. Being personable, I believe is a ‘practice makes perfect’ kind of thing, and it is an admirable ability to have. No man is an island and yes it is warming to be the kind of person others would want to talk to, confide in, etc. but in the same breath that I use to write this statement, I really don’t think it is valuable to be weighed down by relationships you can clearly see is toxic for you or the one where all they do is drain from you; so wisdom is profitable to direct.

-Learn from anyone ready to teach: There are a lot of things I want to know; if you know it, I want to learn from you and I would be the best student you ever had!

- Last but not the least, have a growing and glowing relationship with God. There is no plan without Him, No New year with Him, No second can exist without His grace. Life is really a rat race without Him. He makes all things beautiful in its time and while we wait for the realization of our hopes and dreams, His Presence and Love keeps us going. He is the reason I and my loved ones are, So this year, me and God are lovers.

Proverbs 16 vs 3: Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will establish your plans.

I wish you all an Established 2016!

Thank you for reading my blog, lets make 2016 remember us for Good!

The small BIG person

To be the Bigger Person,

Is to apologize first because the friendship is worth more,

Is to wipe your tears and give your hug to the instigator,

Is to give the first smile which would be engulfed by the storm of contempt,

Is to remain as you even when the force is strong upon a certain one.

To be the Bigger Person,

Is to spray the fragrance of peace over a stench that could truly roll your eyes over,

Is to cover another’s nakedness by the cloth of your heart,

Is to take the first step upon hot coals and pray the cold stare from the coal-smith would sooth it over,

Is to consider your feelings secondary in the interest of world peace,

Is to keep grinding even when the whole world is kissing you like the pestle does the mortar.

To be the Bigger Person,

Is to shake your head saying no, but give out your hand saying yes,

Is to give out your hand saying yes, with your heart saying I bleed but that is how I beat,

Is to volunteer to be the mat in which others step upon, after all, foot prints leave imprints,

Imprints leave stories, stories guarantee an audience and an audience provides a voice,

Is to swallow your words because your poison won’t kill you but you can’t guarantee it won’t annihilate the heart of others.

To be the Bigger Person,

Is to look into the eyes of another and say ‘I see you’ even if you want to stop seeing me,

Is to say the words ‘I love you’ when everything about you is on the other end of love, because you have learnt, love is not just about the moment but the process,

Is to hold the hands of another who is causing yours to bleed,

Is to hug another with warmth in exchange for bone chilling vapour,

Is to kiss the face of another that is cold and has no lines,

Is to smile at another who stares at you with words that pull out foundations.

To be the bigger person,

Is to be the smaller person through the world’s eye,

Is to be the weaker person through your eye,

Is to be the vulnerable person through the eye of another,

Is to be the defenseless person in the cruel war of emotions

Is to be the fragile person in the house made of glass.

To be the bigger person,

Is to stoop low to conquer,

Is to be a better you.

Written by Stella.S.Ihenacho