If Paper can summarise your life, then you are not living.

The above statement is the sad realisation that came upon me today. There is this phase that I usually go through, I do not know when to expect it, but when it comes, I am literally shaking my leg, looking around, pacing with purpose but with no clear destination. I sit down and begin to analyse my goals, the new ones and the ones that are in the reproduction stage.

Few seconds later, I look at myself and say I can be better, I am the best! But am I in the best situation possible? I am excited for my future because I know it is a world changing future, and at the same time I am groaning harder, Lord use me! I am tired of being just there, I need to change my world and when I start this mind trekking exercise, it becomes a conflict of what can I do versus what can I do better with what I have now.

My next step is to get a piece of paper to unleash my life in words. I start writing on what am I doing now and what I intend to do. I begin to write on my projects, what I need to do, what I should begin and then it hit me like vavavoom! If I can write and summarise my plans for my life on a piece of paper, then my life aint all that great then!

If God said, eyes have not seen, ears have not heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him (1 Cor 2 vs. 9); in other words, tree turned paper should not be able to summarise my life mission and vision. When God sent me out to the world, His intention was not for the world to understand His plans for and through me, because if they do, what is the point? If I can understand His point by point plan for my future, then I can as well skip some parts and live the rest!

One reason why His ways cannot be my way is very obvious. I am using my mental mind to draw out a mental picture of my mental future. While He said ‘For men to search their own glory, is not glory (Proverbs 25 vs. 27).

As I poured out my dilemma to a great friend of mine, He gave me the perfect response. He said ‘Why do you want to be God/Jesus? It is their responsibility to orchestrate your future!  We don’t belong to ourselves. We belong to them so we are their responsibility. The Holy Spirit is gentle, if not He would have given you a knock on your head!

I smiled because it was all true. My responsibility is what is before me. My life is not mine. I did not breath the breathe of life into me, so why am I trying to plan where the next source of air would come from?

The last time I read the Bible, there was no mention that God/Jesus/Holy Spirit are working with me on a contract basis! It is Permanent! Before I was formed, they knew me. Before I was born my Heavenly Father, set me apart!

Do not be discouraged. Every step you take is ordered and nothing is by any means a coincidence.

Wait on the Lord, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land;" Psalm 37:34