Thursday 27 December 2012

2012.. winding down



2012 is one year I can say I consciously lived through with eyes wide open and every breeze of emotion was felt by my skin. From January to this present moment, it has been a roller coaster journey that took me to the highest view and to the lowest point, and in both opposing peaks I saw the horizon and then the muddy pebbles.

I remember December 2011 and the things I wrote down to accomplish and with a child’s hand, I give myself a pat at the back for attempting, and still attempting. They say practice doesn't make perfection, it only makes better, and 2012 was my year of ‘better-ment’.
I think in somber reflection I can summarize each months of the year 2012, and I will suggest you do the same. It opens your mind to tests you have buried and testimonies you are yet to share. So please follow me on this journey of month naming J

January- The month of the first step. Apart from it being literal, it was my first step into a fresh slate of plans, love and career.

February- The month of discovery. I unlearned who I was in my Spirit, Soul and Body and started to see me from another perspective. I began to taste a little grain of what I had within me. I took my handi-work up a notch.

March- The month of conclusion. Too soon into the year, I began to solidify my life plans and you never know how your mind can conclude for you when you decide you have found an anchor.  At this point, I had the bases covered, and had concluded, ‘when I am in, I am in’ and I was in, for a while.

April- The month of differentiation-  Many things that happened this month made me realise that different was also very different from different. Basically different has variables and I just got myself a degree of that.

May- The month of forced reality-  I had my graduation ceremony  this month, and I re-lived the journey of my academic years, tears, and cares. I saw my ex class mates and for few days, we relived every single month and saw how far we had moved on, but friends for life, we were. This was also the month; I broke a positive personal record. After graduation and an experience that happened on the last day, I was forced back to reality.

June- The month of decisions- One of the happiest months of my entire life. I had a dream come through as I hosted my mum. It was also another time I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I was ahead and everything was in check. Only if I knew how wrong I was down the line J

July- The month of checkmate- Fully aware this was the second half of the year; I was in tune with things happening around me. The issue however, was I was trying so hard to hold them together. I got involved in personal development engagements, I started using more of my time, but spent few seconds on myself, but I was enjoying it all. it was as if I had found the balance and I was in the middle. Perfect positioning

August: The month of action not words: This month summarises when you decide to stop saying and start acting. To give you a hint: ‘For God so love the world that He gave’. I gave up a key part of my life this month and in reality not expecting anything back. It was simply a sacrificing phase. You sometimes pray over your seeds and hope the heaves open on them.

September: The month of dropping oceans: You never know how strong you are, until strong is the only thing left for you to be. I was about to have another year added to me and at this point the new year starting from January was a fade and all I could think was where I was, the age I was and where I thought I would be. I remember the middle of the last year, I wanted to write a book on my poems before my birthday and one year later, the book was yet to be ready. I dissected myself, spirit, soul and body and trust me, mind was a battle. There were houses built in my mind and the occupants were not paying rent, thanks to me J

October: The month of bucketful: I was really excited in this month because I was older but talked myself out of raising the bar so high for myself. I was very grateful to God for everything He had brought my way. Job, family, love and testimonies. So I had great expectations for my day, which ended up in my packing the dropping oceans in a bucket. When we have great expectations, we create room to be disappointed.

November: The month of falling scales: I was so excited for this month because my sister was getting married and I was the Chief. I have never been the Chief Brides’ maid and also never been in the situation to get a dress one day before my trip. My entire wedding experience was one of my year’s highlight and I experienced love and happiness in a way I had not just by looking. You have no eyes what the eyes can do to your mind just by staring J

December: The month of mind renewal: This was the epic of a brewing situation that burnt me because I was in the middle of the battle with no weapon. All I had was my hormones which were at this time completely tired of me, but one tiny winy hormone still saw the light at the end of the tunnel and in the 2nd week of December, my life turned a corner. Light.

Words cannot do justice to 2012 because above is the grain of sand in the beach; but I thank God for everything I might have gone through because I went through them and been blessed with the gift of Life and living it to the fullest. I thank God for everyone who has come into my life and I thank God for your own life.

2013.. Fast approaching and in these days leading to the new season,  I have visited the future so many times with my 11th hour miracle, and every time I take a peek into 2013 it is filled with un-explainable favour, glorious future, exciting changes, mind blowing testimonies, seconds filled with unconditional love and most importantly divine results. This is all our human eyes can see but holding on to 1 Corinthians 2 vs 9 – No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.


Are you excited for your future? Be excited. You are not just a pawn, you are a key player in your generation! As long as you have a heart, you can be courageous. 


x

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