Why so sensitive?

I am yet to see/meet anyone who does not have an initial defensive stance when they get criticized. It is just something that takes you off guard.  Taking into consideration who is giving the criticism of course, the degree of defense varies.

I had to check for the meaning of criticism because over time I have realized it is one word that has a negative cloud even if it is dished out from a positive stand point. So what is criticism?

‘The expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.’ (This one we can all relate to)

‘The activity of making careful judgments about the good and bad qualities of books, movies, etc (Keywords: Careful Judgments) 

Alas you can also criticize on good qualities! Who knew that? That’s a new angle! Does that mean that criticism is actually a two sided tablet? 

Does it also mean that when I tell you how great of a singer you are, I am actually criticizing you? (I was about to write ‘criticizing you positively’ but even if I tell you that you were pitchy and I know you can do better does not mean I am criticizing you negatively).

Moving on, I believe that you can give your opinion and it is up to the receiver to do what they wish with it. There is a fine line between giving your opinion and stripping someone of the hope that they are able to do better.

Why am I writing this? I read an article called Advice or criticism? By Seth Godin and this is what he said:

‘Solicited advice from a well-meaning and insightful expert, If you confuse that with criticism, you'll leave a lot of wisdom on the table. 

The art of criticism is two sided. The giver and the receiver. 

Here's a simple way to process advice: Try it on

Instead of explaining to yourself and to your advisor why an idea is wrong, impossible or merely difficult, consider acting out what it would mean.

When a friend says, "you'd look good in a hat," it's counterproductive to imagine that she just told you that you look lousy without a hat, and that you then have to explain why you never wear hats and take offense at the fact that she thinks you always look terrible.

Nope. Try on the hat. Just try on the hat.

Put on a jacket that goes with the hat. Walk around with the hat on. Take a few pictures of yourself wearing a hat.

Then, if you want to, sure, stop wearing hats.

Advice is not criticism. 

Criticism is not advice. 

When dishing out your opinion, do it in love and with truth.