Why are some Nigerian mothers hoarding encouragement from their children?

Is there a crime against telling your child or children 'well done'? I do not get it sometimes!

Because I am a mother and a Nigerian, that is the category from which I would draw my inference from.

Why are some Nigerian mothers hoarding praises from their children?

Why is our mouth so heavy to say the below:

'Baby, Great Job!' 

'Well done my son! You gave an outstanding performance' 

'I am proud of you my daughter! you sang so well!' eep at it child. The more you do it, the better you become!

Like the thoughts come to our mind, but our mouths cannot utter it? What is so dangerous about speaking life and encouragement into your children?

I have seen scenarios where a child finishes a performance and the parents would not say one word. ONE WORD! They did not acknowledge the performance. Father and Mother discussed everything but what their child did that day.

Like you would not even know something happened that day.

I am sure you get my point now.

I was truly baffled.

And then we begin to wonder why there is self esteem issues? Of course there would be! When those who are supposed to lift you up, do not even bother lifting a finger, from whence shall you begin?

And we wonder why there is peer pressure- wanting to fit in- because apparently all you do is not enough for your parents so you might as well join those who look like they have some sort of identity.

Can too much praise infuse pride into a child? 

Maybe Yes, Maybe No; At least say one word of praise and see the difference in your child.

It is not about the quantity of the praise. If your child has done an activity, you acknowledge it. As a parent, you have the wisdom to push them forward with your words. Either by saying well done or by saying I know the next one would be better and I am proud of you.

Hoarding praises in your heart, where would that lead to?

Where are your encouragements buried?

Why are we even quick to say well done to a stranger than to our offspring?

Hoarding leads to infestation.

Holding on to praises is just a Full blown 'JUDGE-INA' waiting to happen.

A Judge-ina is someone who cannot see anything good but have given themselves the title of Judge to talk about everyone and everything and never in a positive light.

Rather than say well done, they would say, 'Why were you dancing like that when you were singing?'

'What kind of song was that?' 'Why did you wear that colour of socks to run?'

Less Judge-inas and More parenting.

Who do you think you are? Who do you really think you are?

My title is the response one gets when they have bitten more than they can chew or swallowed more than they can digest. As I walked down the subway early this morning , I imagined the wall to be people by the side watching me, as I took my steps through the subway coarsed  path; Something happened.

In a twinkle of an eye, I turned from the girl with the black gown with a white, shiny belt, wearing a pair of pumps and carrying a hand bag with a packed lunch to the lady with the dress accessorised with the crystal studded belt, wearing a pair of coffee brown pumps, a gift from a special one and a black bag designed by Tignanello. I saw all the invisible people by the side wanting to be like me, to have just one tea spoon of what I have in abundance. When the walls came to an end, my 10 seconds or less show of run way kind of ended with it. I was back to the black girl, with the black dress, belt, pumps, and a bag.

If objects can stick to their identity, how much more we creations of the most high God. When someone uses a pencil as an ear cleaner, you don’t see the pencil going into rehab for self-identity crisis! When we use a pair of heels as a can opener, the one who looks stupid at the end is the human being.  We don’t use tooth paste as body cream or body cream as tooth paste. Their names say it all.

What is your name?  When you find out, stick to it.

Who am I? Without going into much details, as there would definitely be a part 2 of this piece; I am the Daughter of God. I am a living divine destiny; created for a reason (What is it? I would recommend you buy a Bible to find out); designed with a heavenly purpose in mind (If you have your Bible now, check, Genesis 1 vs 26-27).

If I live less than my title, who is to blame? If I allow my conditions to determine when I live true to my name, whose fault is it ? Should I wait for the cheer before I become cheerful? Should I wait for the runway before I walk with heads held high and divine class? Am I good representative of my maker?

To conclude, this verse comes to my mind- "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
Jerimiah 1 vs 5- " (NIV)

My Lesson for this morning: 

 I should not be subject to my environment; in fact what would happen is the environment would be confused as to whom really am I? Even the environment itself likes consistency. How much God who created me with so much divinity surrounding him and he need no help to input in me His DNA with all things I would ever need and want ingrained in it.

Be consistent. When you know who you are, you will understand what you carry inside you and realise that you really are Royalty. Do your Heavenly Father proud.