For Better for Worse, In Grey hair and in wrinkles.....

It would be unwise to think physical attraction is not on the checklist of many young people as they seriously start to inquire from God who they should spend the rest of their lives with.

I once wrote a poem about what love is and I made a statement saying 'Love is what happens when all the hormones are gone. You can watch full clip here> Who is Love?
Are the hormones important? Yes of course! The excitement and increase in heart beat when we see the one we love or when we walk down the aisle  or when we spend quality time with them, do not just happen on their own! God has blessed us with hormones to send out the signals and then we have the HolySpirit in us to help us control them!

Now, onto physical attraction: Take a look at your significant other and write down the first five things about them that makes/keeps you physically attracted to them. (Do You Know: Some people are physically attracted to their spouses but have never really thought of what exactly could that be?)
Key word,physical attraction  not character attraction or mental attraction.

Genesis 1:31:God SAW all that He had made and it was VERY GOOD!
So what do you see, that makes you FEEL GOOD?

Now onto Feeling good, the caveat here is, feelings are for a moment. 2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us to walk by faith and not by sight. We should walk by what we hope for/believe in/trust God for/unconditional love  and not by what our eyes can see/our hormones can feel/the physical attraction.....

What we see now, will fade.
What is in trend now, will end.
What you fight over now, will become irrelevant.
The most important things to you now, will be the least important things in years to come.
The physical attraction we desire to have, is at the mercy of time.
Before, I DO, certain things seemed important, after I DO, they lose their position.

Yes, it is important to stay/be VERY GOOD just as our Father in Heaven made us but more importantly, it is to not have the foundation of a relationship/marriage hinging on it. Proverbs 31:30 tells us that Charm is deceitful and beauty is in vain but a woman that fears the Lord shall be praised.

The beauty of home is not directly proportional to the beauty of its occupants but in the beauty of their hearts and memories of each other.
This video here  How would you react if you saw the 70 years old version of your husband? is the inspiration for this post.

I have been reminded by the video that:
- Physical beauty is for a moment. Cherish and take care excellent care of it.

- Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Love your beholder unconditionally.

-Do not invest in Beauty, you have no resources for memories. One fades and the other is generational.

-Underneath the change in appearance is the real person we are in love with. Let our love not be dependent on beauty, feelings, emotions, so that when all this cease to exist, our 'love' does not follow suit.

-The function of the heart/hormones is independent of the skin's aging process. Use time to build love and with love, fill time with fond memories.

-Always remember how it all started when you start forgetting why it ever began.

-Never procrastinate. A time is coming when all you can do is speak without saying words. Speak all you can, when you can. Love in all manner of ways, when you can and grow in all fronts, when you can. A time is coming when all you can do is look back together and what a joy to be able to be on the same level with your spouse, with no words spoken but with smiles screaming 'JOB WELL DONE BOO!'

-Fill your home with Love. Unconditional Love. Let the sacrifices you make now, not cause you to be lonely in your old age even in the midst of company.

-Even when the kids become adult, they cannot/will stay with you for ever! You have trained them well enough to go and take over their world; which leaves you and your spouse alone. Never forget about loving/staying a friend to your spouse when raising your kids. Your kids will be raised and rise up to go forth; your spouse will be the only one remaining with you. Remember to be friends.

I think I have dissected this video (How would you react if you saw the 70 years old version of your husband?) enough! LoL!
Feel free to share your thoughts and I would love to hear them all!

Emotional Roller coaster!

Wow! There is definitely a reason why they say let sleeping dogs lie, because when you awaken them, you cannot be sure of what is waiting for you at the end of their slumber!

For my Facebook friends, I am sure you have been thoroughly entertained by my childhood pictures! Those pictures have memories upon memories layered upon them, that all I can do in retrospect is laugh!

How did I find those pictures, especially the one in which my head looks like it is a square in shape?! Lol.. Ok, so I was looking for an old poem I wrote many years ago in an onward book (C’mon people! Remember the days of ONWARD book!!)  

And as I went through the pages, I came across some package and inside it were pictures from my childhood with my siblings! I was shocked! Lol.. Going through each of them and looking at my face, wondering what was going through my head at that time of my life just made me vulnerable immediately.  Stories and memories from those pictures would compose a new blog post.

Now moving on, talking about letting sleeping dogs lie, is what I do not intend to do in this blog post.

I saw one of my poems from the ‘old days’ and reading it was refreshing and liberating!

Do you want to know what I am talking about? Read below and you can also listen TO ME EMOTIONALIZE IT (<< Click on that link :) for special effects!

ROLLER COASTER

How can I give you what I don’t have? Squeezing my heart vessels for one drop to fall but I see me choking instead. Emotional roller coaster, you have literally taken my breath away.

One day we are in love and the next you are not sure? One second we plan and the next second we are flat.

What do you want from me? My heart on a platter with kisses on my lips?

When would it be enough for you? When I burn my body just because I want you to see my heart beats only for you?

What more can I give to you? I volunteer myself as your slave and every word you say is my lifeline!

Like little children we thought love was enough and was all we needed.

I felt my tummy rumble when you pass me and your scent in every fibre of cloth I wore.

My pleasure was kindled when you smiled and the twinkle in your eyes took me to the stars.

Like little children we embarked on a journey we didn’t care for the destination, as long we held hands together and our attestation was loud in our silence.

One step at a time, we took baby steps as little children,

One leap at a time, you threw me forward as I got the rope to bring you closer,

And I never stopped to think how come you could take me this far emotionally, but you are far behind.

Like little children we kissed our bellies asking, did you feel that butterfly? And we lied to ourselves as we both smiled yes.

You noticed my hands were coarse and I noticed you had four fingers. All of a sudden it mattered to our destination, in fact you started having revelation that my coarse hands would slip away from yours but we still held hands in our differences. Or did we?

We stopped looking at each other but our hands had not changed, our eyes had.

 I saw you text her favorite pet name with your other free hand and you saw me serve you with your least favorite cup with my other free hand. We stared at each other for a second and then we looked away.

We still held hands and moved forward, our eyes had not changed. Out feet had.

I was moving too fast for you, you were moving at your pace. You said you could not catch up with me, I questioned if you still wanted to move? We stared at each other and we looked away.

We moved forward and we realized our feet had not changed, It was our heart.

Speaking the same language, love without compromise but emanating love with no sacrifice.

No one is perfect we tell ourselves yet we measure ourselves against the illusion and the difference became the topic of our dissertation.

It finally looked like we had gotten to the proposed destination and as we stood on the carpet, you bent down and dragged it from under my feet and I landed on my bum. With your eyes, I could see me through them; I could see me hoping you would stretch out your hands, but instead you asked me ‘why are you on the floor?’ I don’t think we can do this anymore. I know what I want but you don’t. I don’t think we are ready for this.

I admired the ground as you said those words because as a little child I believed you then and I believe you now. I made a decision on the floor to make an incision called love into my heart and when I do, no one can deny its existence in me; and as I looked up at you one more time, you put forward your hand to bring me up but I just stared and stayed in my thoughts.

I’m in a canoe in the midst of emotional turbulence but I chose to crash and not return. I choose to crash so that I can start with the pieces and build a ship instead. I choose the floor because it is the lowest point with the highest view. I deny your outstretched hands because I don’t know if it is my imagination or my death wish. My imaginations have become flawed; I gave you so much power that my reality and imagination have become one and the same. 

I choose the floor because in its cold state, it told me my fate with no prejudice. 

I choose the floor because it won’t cave in from my insecurities and imperfections. 

I choose the floor because I deserve more than an outstretched hand, but outstretched arms from one who is Love himself.

I choose the floor because it makes no promise of a roller coaster just a promise of a fresh start for a better beginning.