For Better for Worse, In Grey hair and in wrinkles.....

It would be unwise to think physical attraction is not on the checklist of many young people as they seriously start to inquire from God who they should spend the rest of their lives with.

I once wrote a poem about what love is and I made a statement saying 'Love is what happens when all the hormones are gone. You can watch full clip here> Who is Love?
Are the hormones important? Yes of course! The excitement and increase in heart beat when we see the one we love or when we walk down the aisle  or when we spend quality time with them, do not just happen on their own! God has blessed us with hormones to send out the signals and then we have the HolySpirit in us to help us control them!

Now, onto physical attraction: Take a look at your significant other and write down the first five things about them that makes/keeps you physically attracted to them. (Do You Know: Some people are physically attracted to their spouses but have never really thought of what exactly could that be?)
Key word,physical attraction  not character attraction or mental attraction.

Genesis 1:31:God SAW all that He had made and it was VERY GOOD!
So what do you see, that makes you FEEL GOOD?

Now onto Feeling good, the caveat here is, feelings are for a moment. 2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us to walk by faith and not by sight. We should walk by what we hope for/believe in/trust God for/unconditional love  and not by what our eyes can see/our hormones can feel/the physical attraction.....

What we see now, will fade.
What is in trend now, will end.
What you fight over now, will become irrelevant.
The most important things to you now, will be the least important things in years to come.
The physical attraction we desire to have, is at the mercy of time.
Before, I DO, certain things seemed important, after I DO, they lose their position.

Yes, it is important to stay/be VERY GOOD just as our Father in Heaven made us but more importantly, it is to not have the foundation of a relationship/marriage hinging on it. Proverbs 31:30 tells us that Charm is deceitful and beauty is in vain but a woman that fears the Lord shall be praised.

The beauty of home is not directly proportional to the beauty of its occupants but in the beauty of their hearts and memories of each other.
This video here  How would you react if you saw the 70 years old version of your husband? is the inspiration for this post.

I have been reminded by the video that:
- Physical beauty is for a moment. Cherish and take care excellent care of it.

- Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Love your beholder unconditionally.

-Do not invest in Beauty, you have no resources for memories. One fades and the other is generational.

-Underneath the change in appearance is the real person we are in love with. Let our love not be dependent on beauty, feelings, emotions, so that when all this cease to exist, our 'love' does not follow suit.

-The function of the heart/hormones is independent of the skin's aging process. Use time to build love and with love, fill time with fond memories.

-Always remember how it all started when you start forgetting why it ever began.

-Never procrastinate. A time is coming when all you can do is speak without saying words. Speak all you can, when you can. Love in all manner of ways, when you can and grow in all fronts, when you can. A time is coming when all you can do is look back together and what a joy to be able to be on the same level with your spouse, with no words spoken but with smiles screaming 'JOB WELL DONE BOO!'

-Fill your home with Love. Unconditional Love. Let the sacrifices you make now, not cause you to be lonely in your old age even in the midst of company.

-Even when the kids become adult, they cannot/will stay with you for ever! You have trained them well enough to go and take over their world; which leaves you and your spouse alone. Never forget about loving/staying a friend to your spouse when raising your kids. Your kids will be raised and rise up to go forth; your spouse will be the only one remaining with you. Remember to be friends.

I think I have dissected this video (How would you react if you saw the 70 years old version of your husband?) enough! LoL!
Feel free to share your thoughts and I would love to hear them all!

STOP! You are about to destroy your RELATIONSHIP!

I have an unwritten post on the topic of ALENIC- Expectation when wanting to choose a life partner. Alienic because it is neither divine nor even ordinary and the opposite of these benchmark has to be out of space aka Alien. I would write more on that much later.

Today’s post is one that is relatable to both the single and the married.

To summarise it, in my metaphoric way, here it gores “The man/woman who plays with fire, trusting his saliva to quench it off his/her fingers as he puts them in his/her mouth, would soon realize that his/her saliva has become hotter than the fire.

Oh well, that’s my attempt on a proverb! Now unto serious matters.

One of the usual aftermaths of getting into a serious relationship or even getting married is that consciously (I do not want to believe it is unconscious, because I think this is where the problem starts from!), our life revolves and evolves round our loved one. We begin to have common friends and common enemies. 

All the ‘opposite sex best friend, opposite sex prayer partner, opposite sex friend in need, lover, one I call when I need a ride, one I call when I need a date, one I call when I need to lament, one I call when I am bored, one I call because he/she gets me, one I call when I feel like calling someone, one I call to make me feel good about myself, one I call but I know I am to stop calling, etc” begin to reduce and then really miraculously disappear. 

The calls synonymous with these ‘associations/relationship’ reduce and then it becomes a very irrelevant part of your life because really, if you want to be truthful to yourself, most of such associations were not healthy ones and probably founded on the basis of selfishness, idleness, boredom or heartbreak.

Moving on to the core of this post; Which is about, letting go of these un-healthy associations (because we are aware it is just like housing the devil and telling him not to steal from you, as this relationships living with your ‘serious’ relationships is bound to steal from you) and then going back consciously to look for matches to light the darkness of its banishment.

Ok in simple terms, Why would you consciously let go of such relationships?because truthfully, you are aware they are pot holes for the advancement in your serious relationship or even in your marriage.

 All of a sudden you get ‘comfortable’ and DECIDE to ‘innocently’ reach out to this broken cord and say stuffs like:  ‘Hey, I just wanted to know how you are doing, it has been a while! OR Hey, long lost friend, you good?! OR ‘Hey darling, this is my number we have not talked in a while; you should call/text me! OR Hey, my long lost friend, how now, I can’t find you on my BB anymore?! OR Hey friend, I have missed you o! You just abandoned me, whats up?!  OR Hey boo, you still in town, Call me lets catch up, we sure had fun back in the days!

I am sure you get my point. If this person is now the one you are with, AWESOME!  If not, there is a reason he/she was not on your BB or any social media accounts anymore. There is a reason you cannot remember if he/she is still in town. There is a reason why you lost his/her number, so , what happened to these reasons?

I think the annoying one is ‘Hey, I just thought about you and decided to reach out’..This one is the blank check approach. The approach of, I am making a move to rekindle but I want to know how you still feel about me…Now, common!!

Now, if you remember I wrote above that the severance from such relationship is conscious and not unconscious. Why? Because unconscious means the relationship with the ‘circumstantial opposite sex best friend magically disappeared, which means it can magically appear!!” Unconscious severance means you asked for grace but the sin is well hidden. Unconscious severance means at the back of your mind you are packing enough saliva because you know you would put your hand in fire in the future. Unconscious severance really means your mind has committed the sin; it is all about how long it would take for your body to do the same.

What am I on about? There is a reason you let go before, why do you need to look back? Please do not tell me, it is harmless reaching out or the Bible said Live peacefully with all men, nah, boo! let’s not use a verse to console our verselessess! I do not want to go deep into maybe you had an argument with your boy/girlfriend, fiancé/fiancée, husband/wife, and then fond memories with another opened up magically in your mind! My friend FIX IT! Do not create room for the serpent to move in because it might take you ages to chase that slimy creature out!

In summary, Be careful so you do not set yourself and your relationship/marriage up. If you truly value your relationship, you won’t hold your diamond with one hand and pack stones with the other.  Diamond is bound to fall off, it requires commitment, value, attention and everything good!

Choose your battles wisely! The devil is distributing issues for free, do not get a buy one get one deal from him. Do not ask for a number or rekindle a buried association, if you know  the other end of the call is not Christ-like or the association is unequally yoked.

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